It’s only one month and ten days until I go back.
As it is widely recognised time passes. So why are we always surprised when it does? Somehow time tricks us into feeling like we have a lot of it even though we technically know we don’t.
Can we ‘have’ time? Did you ever see someone coming back home from grocerie-shopping with a big bag of time? Or does it transform as time-flowers as it is told in the story ‘Momo’ by Michael Ende? What do the sentences ‘I have time’ or ‘I don’t have time for this’ mean?
How does time look, smell, feel? It sounds like we are in 7th grade chemistry class and learn about differencing between various samples^^.
But honestly: how can we live, based on something we absolutely don’t understand? Why do humans don’t understand that you can not possess time? We are neither immortal nor able to travel in time.
Language has a very interesting relationship with “time”. We ‘have’ it, we ‘use’ it, we ‘take’ it, we ‘give’ it and we ‘spend’ it.
From the moment you wake up until the moment you go back to sleep, everything is based on it. Especially here, where you have to get up at 5:30 and be present for 5 meetings through out the day in addition to 6-7 hours of training with your group and your Shifu. Still: nobody owns it.
You cannot have time but you also cannot not have time, because neither you nor your teachers or supervisors own time. So what does that mean?
It means you are free in the moment where you walk out of the door and understand that somehow everything goes on and are not afraid of it. Situations can be impossibly dangerous or bad but as long as you are alive later it is a story you tell later. A story that makes other people say: ‘I don’t think I could have managed that’ or ‘I hope I never get into a situation like that’. Truth is: you can’t control what will happen to you, so control the only thing you can and need to: how you react to it.
It is possible to just walk out of your door and leave everything behind. It doesn’t mean you have to do it, but you should know that it is possible. It doesn’t mean that what you find is better or worse than what you had before, it simply means that it is possible and you are free.
A lot of people think they own ‘their’ time without understanding that there is only ‘the’ time and they are owned by it simply by thinking it was the other way around.